WHO IS READY FOR MARRIAGE? (PART ONE)

Hello, today I would like to share with you some thoughts on Marriage.

Tell me, Who is ready for marriage? Is it:

• The person advanced in age ?
• A Christian?
• The Casanova who wants to settle down?
• Someone with good intentions concerning marriage? 
• The one who has a good and well paying job?
• An individual serving fervently in the house of God? 
• The person who no longer wants to live alone?
• The person who has dated for long and feels it is time to make it good?
• Someone who needs a helper so as to secure his or her future?
• Someone whose colleagues are all marrying?
• Someone interested in having children?
• Someone who no longer wants to live with his or her parents?
• Someone with lots of marital offers on the line?

So many people see themselves as fit to marry when in fact they are not ready. The reason? The marriage checklist above. Let's discuss three out of the lot and then why I believe these reasons are not good enough.

The Person Advanced In Age?

Cultural pressure most times compels males, who want to be branded as 'responsible' and females who don't want to be called 'old cargos' to marry before the culturally established expiration date catches up with them. A lady said she thought she would die, probably of shame, if by 30 she isn't married. Funny, isn't it? But guess what?  She didn't marry at that time and she didn't die either. She got married at 34, when she was ready to the man she loved and had chosen to spend the rest of her life with! One sad reality is that many are being forced to get married just because they want to beat time when in fact they are not prepared for marriage itself. They feel that because they have reached a certain age, they are qualified and fit to marry anytime and anyone they choose and they have nothing to fear. It is only when they enter marriage that they get to realize that age does not determine one's readiness for marriage. Lest we are forget, we need to keep in mind that age is just a number and does not determine one's wisdom or maturity.

A Christian?

Again, when it comes to marriage, sorry to disappoint the 'religious folks'  but being religious doesn't guarantee you a successful marriage. It isn't that automatic. And it is so sad to see many marriages breaking up these days because it was built on this false assumption. You need to discard the thought that you  are ready for marriage just because you have become strongly attached to a particular religious faith. It is quite common to see these days people get married as believers and then within a short while see their marriage deteriorate because of their lack of preparedness. Sometimes we blame God or the devil for things that we ourselves cause. In most marriages, couples have problems because they have not readied themselves to adequately handle issues that arise. When we are not ready for marriage and we get into it, we will fall prone to repeating the same mistakes that have thrown many marriages to the rocks.

The Casanova Who Wants to Settle Down?

As for those  who also see marriage as a cure for a philanderous lifestyle,that being the third point on the checklist, please note that marriage is not an antidote to fornication. It might only be successful in transforming the fornicator into an adulterer. One needs to develop enough love for himself to throw away a bad lifestyle. An individual who struggles with promiscuity needs to learn how to do deal with it as well as exercise self control. Getting married will in no way cure you of it unless you make the choice for yourself and pay the price for it.

Reconsider all the rest on the checklist and you will see all their shortcomings. So to think that one is ready just because these thoughts are on one's mind does not in any way make you ready for marriage. I realize that all the above may to an extent form a good basis for considering  marriage, but they are not good enough for one to use them as reasons why one is ready for marriage since they do not ensure the success of marriage. We therefore need to look beyond these to considering the qualities necessary for our marriages to be successful when we get into finally. Only then can we say we are ready for marriage. 

Part two will be out soon with specific points on how you can be ready for marriage!